G-dCast

More Torah cartoons at www.g-dcast.com

(Normally I'm not a fan of the g-d spelling but it's their site!)

Shabbat Shalom!

Another Step Back

A few weeks back, I spoke in glowing terms about the step forward that the daughters of Zelophechad represented.

Now here we go backwards, just a little bit.

The rest of the clan
was a bit worried themselves
that land would be lost.

If girls can get land
that was their father's holding,
that is fine with us.

But what if they get
husbands from outside our tribe?
Then we would all lose.

Eventually
their land would end up in hands
outside of our tribe.

Mo made a ruling:
Daughters that inherit land
must marry tribesmen.

Just one restriction.
Does it really seem so fair?
Land over freedom.

What do you think?

Read more about this week's Torah portion here and here.

Shabbat Shalom!

A Man, A Plan, A Donkey?

In this week's Torah portion....

Balak was afraid
He thought the Jews were too strong
he wanted a curse.

He summoned Balaam
a well-known prophet, to curse...
Balaam wasn't sure.

God said "don't curse them"
But after a lot of cash
God told him "go on."

Balaam rode his steed
(it was really a donkey)
an angel stopped him.

Finally Balaam
realized what was going on
and apologized.

But the angel said
"Go on, but say what I tell."
So Balaam went on.

Balaam overlooked
the tents of the Israelites,
he had to bless them.

"How fair are your tents,
O Jacob, your dwelling-spots!"
(It was a great line!)

Moral of the story: Always listen when your donkey speaks to you.

Shabbat Shalom from OSRUI!

Why the Red Heifer?

This week's Torah portion is Chukat...

Why the red heifer?
We don't know what it's all for
But the Torah says!

It's a sacrifice
and its ashes make a paste
that helps purify.

Touching a dead guy
(or gal for that same matter)
makes you real impure.

Only a red cow
can fix that impurity,
bring back a pure state.

--

They got to Kadesh.
That's where Miriam fell dead.
They buried her there.

--

They had no water
and the people moaned and whined.
Mo and Aaron cried.

God told them to ask
the rock for water, nicely.
But Mo hit the rock.

The water came forth
but Mo was in big trouble
and so was Aaron.

"You did not have faith!"
God was angry with them both.
A punishment came.

"You will not enter
into the Land I promised
to all the People."

--

Aaron died at Hor
and they mourned him 30 days
Things, they were changing...

(Stay tuned for next week, the Talking Donkey!)
Shabbat Shalom from OSRUI!

Sh'lach L'cha...Sending out the Scouts!

in this week's Torah portion...

12 spies were all sent
to scout the land of Canaan
one from every tribe.

They came back with grapes,
reports of milk and honey,
and fear of giants.

Caleb calmed them down
"we can do it!" he told them
Josh stood by him too.

It was lack of faith
in God's promise of the Land
and they paid the price:

As a punishment
they would not enter the Land
except Josh and Cay (leb)...

And so they wandered
forty years in wilderness
until....Israel.

Shabbat Shalom!

Blessings...Priestly and Otherwise

It's a famous line
"May God bless you and keep you."
the priests all said it.

"May the face of God
shine on you and be gracious
unto you and yours."

"May God's face lift up
to you and may you always
find completeness -- peace."

The Priestly Blessing is the centerpiece of this week's Torah portion, Naso.

The Hebrew root of the word "shalom," which means peace, is "shalem" -- which means wholeness or completeness. Only when we have completeness...in ourselves, in the world...can we truly find peace.

May you find blessings, completeness, and peace on this Shabbat.

Shabbat Shalom!

The Torah is Full of Rules...

In this week's parasha....

There are rules for priests
Don't touch any dead bodies
except your family.

Do not shave your head
or the sidelocks of your beards.
Do not gash your flesh.

Priests have lots of rules
Do not marry a harlot
or a divorcee.

Priests have to be pure
They can't share the sacrifice
with any lay-folks.

Holidays happen:
Shabbat, Pesach, Shavuot
Yom Kippur, Sukkot,

Rosh Hashanah too.
These holidays are holy,
each one on its date.

Light the lights a lot
every day in the Mishkan
an "eternal light."

There was once a man
and he was a blasphemer.
He was stoned by all.

Kill a man - you die.
If you kill a beast - you pay.
The laws are so clear.

Shabbat Shalom!

It's time for some sacrificing around here...

And thus we begin
another book of Torah,
now Leviticus.

God tells what to do.
Sacrifices 101
is Mo's courseload now.

First, burnt offerings:
animals completely burned
by the holy priests.

Next, meal offerings:
Cakes of flour and oil,
part to burn by priests.

Sh'lamim offerings,
to demonstrate gratitude
are detailed next.

Then, sin offerings
if you omitted info,
if you touched unclean,

or if you swore oath
and then forgot about it.
Also guilt offerings:

Unwitting sinning,
lying or robbing also
make you do this one.

God is forgiving
when expiation is made
and it's all okay!

***

It's Shabbat Zachor
Zachor means "to remember"
It precedes Purim.

The reading is hard,
we remember Amalek
how he attacked us.

It fits with Purim
we remember times of pain
Amalek, Haman...

We celebrate now
but we know the world isn't
perfect just quite yet.

Chag Purim Sameach!
and Shabbat Shalom!

eat this torah...

time to build the mishkan....

Time to build the ark!
God gives Mo some instructions...
who and how to do.

If your heart moves you
bring your gifts for the Mishkan*
gold, silver, copper,

colored yarn, linen,
goats' hair, ram skins, acacia
oil, spices, gems...

Make two cherubim
and put them on the cover.
Make a table too.

Make a menorah
six branches -- of purest gold,
to light it all up.

Put the Ark, table,
and the menorah into
the Tabernacle.

Weave a curtain of
Purple, blue and crimson yarn
as a partition

Cover the Mishkan*
with fine twisted linen stuff.
Make it beautiful!

*AKA Tabernacle

Things are about to get a tad bloody...stay tuned for next week!

laws laws laws

In this week's Torah portion, Mishpatim....

God gives lotsa laws,
tells Moses to pass them on
for all to obey.

Laws for keeping slaves,
how to treat your maids and wives,
penalties and rules

don't hit mom or dad,
what to do when an ox gores,
don't throw stones or smite.

It's eye for an eye
life for life and tooth for tooth
burning for burning...

If you dig a pit
and someone falls into it
you have to make good.

The people answered:
"all that God has said we'll do!"
So Mo wrote it down.

Mo went up the Mount
left Aaron in charge of things
and all the judging.

A cloud covered up
mount sinai from all their view
Mo stayed forty days.

(What happened while he was up there? Stay tuned...)


Shabbat Shalom!

(I'm feeling a bit neglectful of this blog...I promise to work on that!)

Beshallach in Haiku

We're free! Let's go forth!
We'll take Joe's bones and get out
God will be with us.

Pharaoh changed his mind,
decided the Jews should stay.
He sent an army.

The Jews were frightened
Stay or go? Sink or paddle?
They were really stuck.

The army behind
and in front, the Sea of Reeds
Neither seemed too good.

The people cried out.
God said, "Mo! Lift up your staff!"
And the water split.

Amazed, they marched through
Walls of water on each side
on dry land they walked.

The army chased them
But Moses dropped his arm and
the water rushed in.

Freedom at a price:
the death of so many men.
We mourned and rejoiced.

There on the seashore
they sang and they danced - praise God!
Miriam led them.

They walked for three days,
no water was to be found.
They really complained.

They found water then,
but the water was bitter.
(That's what Marah means.)

God told Mo, "Toss wood
into the water to fix
it and make it sweet."

They were hungry then
and there was more complaining.
so God sent manna.

Take just what you need
No more, no less, no excess.
The food was delish!

On the sixth day they
collected double their need
for Shabbat, of course!

Again no water
God told Mo to strike a rock
and water came out.

Then came an attack
Amalek brought war on us.
Things looked kinda bad.

Mo sat on a hill
as he held his hand up high
Israel prevailed.

When his hand fell down
Amalek did much better.
Aaron helped out Mo.

Joshua led troops
and his army prevailed
against Amalek.

To this day we blot
out the name of Amalek -
he kicked us when down.

Stay tuned for more wandering in the wilderness!
Shabbat Shalom!

This week's Torah portion

...is great! Go check out my haikus at my other blog.

Shabbat Shalom!

And thus begins Exodus...

And so we begin
Exodus starts with the names
That's what Shemot* means!

A new king arose
in Egypt where the Jews lived
This guy forgot Joe.

"There are too many!"
Pharaoh thought they might rise up
or join enemies.

So they made them slaves,
they had to work really hard
constructing cities.

Life was bad for Jews,
being slaves was really hard.
But they still "increased."

A new decree came:
When babies are born to Jews
keep girls, kill the boys.

Shifra and Puah,**
the midwives who were so brave,
did not do as told.

One lady gave birth
to a boy she kept hidden
for all of 3 months.

Then she waterproofed
a basket and put him in...
Placed it in the Nile.

His sister watched o'er
as Pharaoh's daughter came out
and rescued the babe.

To keep the baby
the sister offered a nurse -
the baby's own mom!

When he was ready
Mom brought him back to Princess
who named him Moses.

Mo grew up a prince
One day he saw a bad thing
a Hebrew beaten.

Mo looked all around,
saw no one was watching him,
and killed the beater.

Pharaoh heard of it
and was ready to kill Mo
So he fled from town!

He went to Midyan
and met seven girls, daughters
of Jethro the priest.

He defended them
from bad shepherds at the well
They took him to Dad.

He liked this guy, Mo,
gave him Zipporah as wife
made him son-in-law.

One day Mo was out
he saw a bush burning bright
but not burning up!

God called: "Moses! Yo!"
Moses took heed: "Hineni!"***
"You'll free my people."

"Who am I?" said Mo.
God said, "I'll be with you there."
"What's your name?" said Mo.

"I'm the God of their fathers,
Abraham, Isaac and Jake -
I am what I am."

God gave him some signs
that what was said was all true -
a rod, scales and blood.

Mo protested more,
"I am slow of speech and tongue!"
Help comes from Aaron.

They went to Pharaoh
"let my people go, God says!"
But Pharaoh said no.

Things got worse just then
Pharaoh took the straw for bricks
It made the job rough.

The Hebrews got mad
they blamed Mo for their trouble.
But God said, "Don't fret..."

Stay tuned for more of the saga next week!

Shabbat Shalom!

*Shemot is both the name of this week's Torah portion as well as the Hebrew name for the book of Exodus. For more thoughts on what's in a name, check out the Torah commentary for this week from the URJ.
**My favorite biblical name
***Hineni means "here I am."

Friday Parsha Wrap-up in Haiku

Genesis ends now
This week's parsha is the last,
the story, wrapped up.

Jake is gonna die.
He calls Joseph to his bed,
makes him swear a vow:

"Don't bury me here
take me home to lay me down
to rest with my dad."

Joe brings his sons forth
to get blessed by their zeyde*
a whole list of good.

Then the sons are blessed
(Jake's other eleven bros)
Each one hears from Dad.

He reiterates
his yen to rest in Israel's
Cave of Machpelah

Then he dies. Joe cries.
Joe orders his embalming
It takes 40 days.

They took Jake up north
To bury him as he wished
the whole family went.

The brothers got scared
that Joe would retaliate
now that Dad was dead.

Joe told them "Don't fear!"
He committed to protect
all the family clan.

Time flew - Joe got old.
He made his fam swear a vow:
"Take my bones with you."

And thus ends the book
The family saga complete
What's next for the Jews?

(Stay tuned for Exodus...)

*Yiddish word for Grandfather (pronounced zay-dee)

I am Joseph!

Judah comes to Joe
"Please, you can't take away Ben!
It would kill our dad."

"I'm responsible."
He takes Ben's life as his charge.
Clearly he has learned.

Joe is overcome.
He knows his brothers have changed.
he cries and cries - loud!

"I'm Joseph, your bro,
the one you tried to sell off.
And I forgive you."

They couldn't believe!
It was like back from the dead.
They were really shocked.

Joe invited them
to come move down to Egypt
and they said "okay."

Jake came to Egypt
to see his long-lost son, Joe.
Everybody cried.

The children of Jake
prospered in the land, Goshen,
and they multiplied.

See more Haiku Friday here!

What's your torah?

The conversation with Rick Warren, Laura Geller, and David Wolpe (moderated by Ron Wolfson) highlighted the importance of telling our stories. Rabbi Geller called this the "Torah of our lives." I once heard it called Torah with a small "t" -- tell me your torah. That is one of the parts of the Biennial that I really enjoy -- hearing all the stories of the presenters. The good presenters tell stories. The best presenters tell the best stories! This is a lesson that I take to heart. When I tell stories, people listen. When I stop telling the story, I think they tune out. (Okay, I know *I* tune out!)

What's your torah?

More of the Joseph Saga...

We meet back with Joe
Remember he's in prison
stuck there in Egypt.

Pharoah had a dream:
seven fat cows by the Nile
seven thin ones too.

The thin ate the fat
but they didn't get fatter.
what could all this mean?

Then he dreamed again:
Seven good ears of corn grew,
seven bad ones too.

The bad ate the good
but they didn't get better.
What could this all mean?

Pharaoh was disturbed.
When the pharaoh ain't happy,
then no one's happy.

What did the dreams mean?
His wisest men couldn't say.
The butler spoke up.

"I was once in jail
and I had a dream while there;
a guy helped me out."

Aha! It was Joe!
They cleane dhim up, brought him in.
Pharaoh told the dreams.

Joe credited God.
"God helps me figure it out,
I know what they mean."

Seven rockin' years
full of food and great success
are coming our way.

Then come seven bad:
no food, a famine, it's rough!
Things will go downhill.

Joe gave his advice:
"Get someone to make a plan,
set up a system,

put away extra,
save it for the rainy days
so we can eat then!"

Pharoah said: "It's great!
You're the right guy for the job,
you have God's wisdom."

So Joe was the guy.
They saved all the leftovers
to pass out later.

(This is a super long Torah portion! I'll finish it next year... ha ha.. Or see the "other version" of the story!)

And for more Haiku Friday, click here.

Joseph's Tale

This week's Torah portion, Vayeshev...

Joseph was Jake's fave
so his brothers hated him -
they were pretty mean.

He was a dreamer
and he told his bros his dreams
He'd rule over them.

Jake made him a coat,
a multi-colored beauty,
the bros were jealous.

Joe came to the fields
where his brothers tended sheep -
they wanted to kill.

Reuben held them off
"Throw him in a pit instead."
Then they sold him off.

Sold the story, too,
that he had died by wild beasts,
to their dad Jacob.

Joe was sold - a slave -
to Potiphar in Egypt.
Things did not look good.

Pot put him in charge
'cuz he saw that he was blessed
Joe made things prosper.

Pot's wife liked Joseph
he was young and cute and hot -
she tried to seduce him.

Another tale sold
"he tried to force me," she said.
Pot bought; Joe to jail.

In jail he heard dreams
a baker and butler shared -
one would die, one live.

The butler lived and
he returned to Pharaoh's court
but didn't help Joe...

Stay tuned for the rest of the story next week!
P.S. I left out the interlude on Judah and Tamar...a fabulous story...I'll get it in next year!;-)

See my Chanukah Story Haiku over at my other blog and make sure to visit my Chanukah Countdown Party over there too, so you can enter into the Giveaway!



Shabbat Shalom!

Wrestling with the Angel...in Haiku, of course

Vayishlach, this week's Torah portion...briefly...

Jacob stays alone
sends the family on ahead
scared of Esau's wrath

By himself at night
he wrestles with an angel
or was it a man?

The man could not win
so he pulled the leg muscle
and he cried "uncle"

but Jacob was wise
"I can't let you go until
a blessing you give."

and so he was blessed
his name changed to Israel
means "wrestler with God."

Jake renames the spot
Peni-el, face-to-God's-face
His life changed a lot!

(okay so this is just one part of the Torah portion...but I'm tired and it's late. And this is a good part!)

Shabbat Shalom!